The Insanity of Beauty Standards

A lot of the time I find myself struggling with self-confidence and negative body image. I know I'm not the only one, and being a woman, my feelings about myself seem to be more amplified than a mans would be. I constantly see women in magazines that are so thin, flawlessly so, and I fight with myself on why I am not like them. Yet, most are photo-shopped...and I know that. But why do we have to make fake standards? If a model is already wearing a 00 in clothes, why does the media make them even smaller, prettier, bigger breasted? As if that size 00 woman isn't small enough? I will say that some companies are fighting to change this, like aerie's real campaign. They started featuring women who are like you and I, who are real and untouched. Since then, I shop there vs. Victoria's Secret and look for brands who make you feel better about yourself. Here's a picture of an aerie "model" (put in quotes because they look for women who aren't technically supermodels) compared to a VS model:

This is only one example, but if you google VS models then google Aerie models, you can see for yourself the major difference in the diversity of models in terms of size. I look a lot more like the woman on the left than the one on the right, and the one on the right makes me feel like shit about myself if we're being honest here. The one on the left makes me want to embrace the skin I'm in and be proud of how I look. I also don't feel fat when I look at her, because she looks like me. I feel the opposite with the VS model.

This notion of body image follows women not only in magazines and fashion ads, but in movies and even literature. Even everyday experiences in general can make you feel this way since it's ingrained in our heads that we have to be and look better than we already are (even though we probably look amazing to people around us) due to the messages we are receiving and it's everywhere. It's like how we are isn't good enough, so we're expected to have a gym membership and wear make-up everyday, and not go for seconds, and eat salads and food-prep for the week. Here is a small article on how the media pressures women to be thin that talks about trends in diet pills among young women and also how this pressure increases the chance of eating disorders.

Like I mentioned above, literature even speaks on body image and the issues surrounding it. I've been reading Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's novel Americanah for my English course, and it's brought to light that American culture focuses on thinness and beauty standards more than other cultures. The beginning of the book, the main character Ifemelu realizes that she's fat. Being in America has made her realize she's fat, when before this, she didn't think about it. Her home country is Nigeria. On page 6 (the "Random House" edition of this book), Ifemelu is on the transit to Penn Station when she makes the observation that "slim white people" are getting off the bus and compared them to the black people (and herself) who seemed to be larger. She goes on to say that her friend Ginika once told her "'fat' in America was a bad word." She also tells us the story of going to the grocery store where a man pretty much decides she can't eat tostitos because she's "fat." I don't understand why it was any of his business for one, and for two, how can you literally have the balls to even say that to someone? If you aren't a 00-4 you must be fat and can't eat your favorite snacks, right? Was she even really fat though?

By the way, a size four in American clothing is a small size, and some companies argue models above this size have to model for plus-size companies.

American model Autumn Holley, who is 5'10 and a size 4 (US).

What can we do about this? As a woman, I feel like it's my job to ignore nasty and demeaning messages and to teach the younger females around me that it's important to love yourself. It's hard when images and ideas of being "skinny" (jeez, what does that mean anyway) are everywhere we turn. We must fight this, sponsor companies who fight this, and treat ourselves kindly. YOU ARE PERFECT. You don't need to be a size 00 to love yourself, or to get others to love you. We must spread encouragement, love, and compliments to everyone and not snicker or make rude comments when someone looks different than you do. Isn't that the point? Being different? Embrace it! I'm vouching to work on my self-love and body image this year, without searching for diet pills, and without feeling bad for buying a bag of tostitos at Kroger. I will smile and give you the middle finger if you feel like you are oh, so obligated to speak on what I eat and let me know I'm too fat for you. I don't know you, but I know myself. And I know I am beautiful. That's what matters. 

Image Sources (in order):

Aerie Model

VS Model

Perfect

Autumn Holley

Mean Girls. Let's Talk About It.

Let's be real... what girl didn't watch the iconic movie "Mean Girls" when it debuted in 2004? I have watched this movie way more times that I would like to admit, and I just can't be the only one. I remember multiple times putting on some cozy clothes, popping some popcorn, and putting this movie in my Spongebob DVD Player (keep in mind I was in the 3rd grade when this movie came out). I LOVED this movie. Do you remember trying to learn the dance to Jingle Bell Rock?...sigh. That's cringy. Isn't that inappropriate for a young girl?

But that's what I want to talk about. Beyond the comedy and drama within this movie (and don't forget Aaron Samuels) that has made its name, there are quite a few bad messages being sent to females. In this movie women are portrayed as dumb, gossipy, cliquey, and as sexual objects. None of which are okay, or true, and that can send young women the wrong ideas.

When Cady (played by Lindsey Lohan) goes to her new school, she meets her first friend, Janis, and is given a map of the cafeteria, which is labeled table-by-table of what cliques sit where. She tells her who's who, who to avoid (like The Plastics), etc. This teaches us that cliques are not only expected in school, but that it's really a big deal who you hang out with and decide to sit with at lunch. Who cares who I eat my sandwich next to? And why can't I also have many different types of friends instead of confining myself to one "clique"?

Hmm...

The next thing I want to bring up is that hurting people isn't fun. The Plastics decide to let Cady join their group (let her join their group), and then Janis wants Cady to sort of "spy" on them to see the dumb things they talk about. Cady ends up finding out there's this book the girls call the "Burn Book" and it has pictures of students who go to their school, with nasty things written about them in it. This is portrayed as something fun and funny, but really this is bullying. It's not fun, it's not hilarious, it's not nice, and it doesn't make you look cool. Bullying is a  real problem in the world, especially in public schools. 1 in 10 students drop out of school because of repeated bullying (dosomething.org). We should be trying to advocate to stop bullying, not keep it going. A statistic specific to females also came from the same source, stating due to bullying "over 70% of girls age 15 to 17 avoid normal daily activities, such as attending school, when they feel bad about their looks." 

The last thing I want to touch on is that making yourself seem dumb when you're really not, should also not be cool. We see this example when Cady meets Aaron in her math class. Cady is extremely good at math, but when she meets Aaron, she wants his attention. In order to do that, she starts purposefully flunking her tests. When Aaron notices, he offers to tutor her, which is her way of getting him to like her. Girls are already told they aren't good at math, or at science, and only men to these jobs, blahblahblah. It's a load of BS, but that's a message being sent to girls not just through this one movie. You can read this article here about how woman are still underrepresented in the STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) field. More than half (57%) of all girls say that girls don’t typically consider a career in STEM (Girl Scout Research Institute), and as these girls enter college or the working field, this number decreases even more. 

Sooo...when your female child or student shows an interest in STEM, nourish this interest! For starters, the pay is really good as well as the benefits, and I would personally LOVE to be good at math, or engineering. Don't tell your daughters all they can be is actors, singers, housewives, or Miss Universe. I wanted to shake Cady when she started flunking her tests so a guy would notice her, and think it's "cute" [insert disappointed face here].

There are many bad messages sent to us woman in this one movie alone. I only touched on three, but you can definitely find more if you watch this movie again. Is it okay it's such a hit with girls? It makes me uncomfortable thinking my child would see some of the things in this movie and think it's okay. These are the wrong messages to be sending. Girls should feel empowered, smart, beautiful (inside AND out), and nourished in life. None of these happens in "Mean Girls", so if you are a lover of this movie, or have daughters, sisters, nieces, who watch this movie, you are responsible for educating them about the things that woman ARE. Not cliquey, gossipy, dumb, or sexual objects.